Monday, August 3, 2009


For so many of my friends in this community, August is a month that they will never forget.

For me August means that September is almost here. For then it will mean that 12 months have passed. 12 months since our lives changed for ever.

And they have changed.

Changed from the course it should have taken. We should have a 7 month old baby girl named Alice. A little sister for Minnie. Rosie, chubby cheeks covered in apples or prunes or pureed carrot. A big gummy smile. We would be happy that our family was complete. But, that's not the way it is. And that's not the way it can ever be.

And we keep on mourning what could have been, what should have been and what never will be.


Anonymous said...

I wish Alice Buttons was here celebrating her one year birthday. It's hard to believe a year has almost passed. xoxo

Ya Chun said...

the couldas and shouldas really keep getting me too. And countdowns are torture.

Yesterday, out of the blue, I wondered if I would have to stop volunteering with the 2nd and 3rd graders (assuming I still was- what a thing to worry about!) when Serenity *should have* been in 2nd and 3rd grade. Crazy, huh?

Barbara said...

Missing Alice Buttons with you Rach.

Hugs and love.


Hope's Mama said...

I'm so sorry Rach. It just isn't fair.

Poppy and Mei said...


Leila's mommy said...

I wish Alice were here with you. I wish all our lives were the way they SHOULD be. complete with baby. i simply cannot wrap my head around Forever, and i'm only 12 weeks into this journey.
sending love,

tiff said...

Oh Rach...
I wish Alice Buttons were here too.