Guest Post: From My Three Ring Circus

From My Three Ring Circus

For Charlotte and Sophie and Alice

Spring.

A time of renewal and rememberance.

Babies who I will never know, would be friends and ponderings of how they might look, what their characters would be.

A time of blossoming.

A shedding of the bristled, thick coat of Winter,

moving onwards, into the sunshine with the flow of soft air cusping my cheeks and forcing me to cast my eyes to the blueness of the perfect sky.

The ground fresh with rain, crystaline and pure, the scent of change.

And yet…

and yet I am pulled by the rustle of feathered wings, soft and downy.

A mere whisper on the earth but for a day, a hope and a dream, a shattered promise.

Do not forget, never forget.

I do not think of him as often as I did, perhaps as often as I should.

He clings to me today in organza memories.

Floating, soft.

There is none of the jagged, raw ripping of my heart

but these little ones remind me

and I ache for him.

Sweet seedlings, caught up in the wind, scattering and sharing.

It is their way.

Their mother’s sorrow is a legacy to mine.

Do not forget, never forget.

Thank you.

I will not forget him and I will think of you too

September spirits.

This post was written by a dear friend of mine after Alice died. This dear friend knows about the pain of loosing a baby as her sweet William died only days after he was born.