Friday, April 10, 2009

nothing to say...

I guess I am feeling like I have nothing to say. For the moment. Of course I have things to say but maybe just not the words to put down here.

I know that this blog is about this part of my life, the grieving, lonely and so desperately sad part of my life. But, like you all I have another part too. The part in which I smile and laugh and sometimes have a glass of wine. And I have a big part in which I have a 3 year old who loves to talk about the anatomy of the ear, the skeletal system and who this week will not dress in anything appropriate for the weather. In this other life we have a 12 week old Golden Retriever puppy. But, I know that this place is not about that.

So for a while I think I need to be in that other part of my life. I will still be around, here for my dear friends and reading your blogs. Sometimes writing about my sweet Alice. I will be here hoping that the lost mama will email back and tell me how she is.

Once you are in this club or community or 'family',' the one that no-one ever wanted to join, you are in it for life. I know that we are all here, for each other, for the long haul. For all the days. For all the crap bits that have been and for all the great bits to come.

10 comments:

Hope's Mama said...

Always here for you too, Rach. I know what you mean about needing to take a break. Sometimes it all gets too much, and you just need to keep existing in the world.
Take care.

Lea said...

Absolutely. Always here for each other. Take care of you.

xo

angie said...

Savoring the image of you with wine, and a three year old explaining the ear. Life can be sweet, even when it makes no sense and is occasionally cruel. Sending you much love.

ezra'smommy said...

Abiding with you, in words and in silence. xoxoxo

Ya Chun said...

Yep, sometimes it is difficult to talk about 'the other things' here. And I write less now that I am no longer constantly overwhelmed by my grief.

Find peace when you can.

Paige said...

So nice to meet you, though of course I wish we hadn't. I'm so sorry about the loss of baby Alice. This community of heartbroken mamas is an incredible place, and I'm glad to have you as a new friend. Much love.

Barbara said...

Always here for you Rach, always. Whenever you need us and even if you don't!

Poppy and Mei said...

Brave Grrrrrrl...XXxx

tiff said...

Here for you too, Rach xx

Erin said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. Thank you for yours, and for sharing your loss. I read a book recently--An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination by Elizabeth McCracken. about a mom and her baby boy born still. His name was Pudding, which reminds me of your sweet Alice Buttons. Your blog reminds me very much of that book, if you are interested. Maybe another kindred spirit for you.