Yesterday I went to visit a tiny, baby girl. I waited until she was home as I am not ready to visit people in the same maternity hospital in which Alice was born and died.
She is perfect and small and perfect.
She slept in my arms for hours.
I cried a little.
I was happy for her family but I felt empty and sad on the inside.
I watched her asleep. I took photos.
And for a tiny, fleeting, fraction of a second I thought about taking her with me when I left.
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Warm Whispers - About this blog
On September 11 2008 I delivered our second baby girl at 20 weeks. Alice Buttons died a short time after. This blog is about the death of a baby.
blogs about loss and death
support groups and agencies
- Bonnie Babes Foundation - information and counselling services. The Charity is a national grief counselling organisation and is the only organisation of its type in Australia covering all pregnancy loss issues.
- Essential Baby - see Forums for discussion groups for miscarriage, neonatal death and still birth
- SIDS and Kids - information for bereaved parents
- Teddy Love Club - support and information, including parents stories
3 comments:
Hugs Rach,
The first time is the hardest.
I went to see one of my best friend's baby in the hospital almost three months to the day after WIll died. It was sad and surreal and lovely and sweet and warm and so devastating.
Hugs because there really isn't anything else.
You are so brave Rach. I hope I have your strength when I go meet my niece in a couple weeks. I've made the same decision - I'm not going to visit until she's home from the hospital and relatively settled. But I expect that there is no escape from the contrasting emotions which will likely bubble up.
I think I would have passed through that fleeting second too.
Brave Rach, I'm not sure I could have held that baby for so long.
Hugs.
xxx
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