Friday, January 30, 2009


Alice's due date was this week. 28th January.

I also miscarried a little baby at the end of January last year.

Minnie had her first day away from me at pre-school on 28th January.

This has not been an easy week.

So I cried and felt lonely and thought about all my babies that day. I drove and cried and busted a tyre on the gutter. So I sat and waited for the road side assist people and didn't cry so much. I came home and did housework like a whirlwind so I didn't have too much time to think.

Some beautiful friends sent flowers that I didn't expect. Flowers to remember Alice.

I should not be on this computer writing and reading. I should never have met you all. We should never have met each other. We should be doing very different things.

When Alice was born and died my dearest friend sent flowers and a card that said 'Sometimes life is Shit.'

She was right.


Hope's Mama said...

Yes, this life feels pretty shit to me. Thinking of you today Rach. Hard to believe we have all come this far. Time has gone so fast, yet it has also stood still.

bir said...

Sittin' in the 'shit pool' with you all, and not having a good time. Someone hand me a towel? I want to get out.

Barbara said...

Your friend was quite right.

Thinking warm thoughts of you and Alice Buttons.

Anonymous said...

You articulate everything so clearly. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am in awe. And for what its worth. Yes. January. sucks.

tiggy said...

Hugs, sweet Rach.

Yes, sometimes life IS shit.

ezra'smommy said...

sometimes life IS shit. i wish there were more people around me who could just acknowledge that. thinking of you & sweet Alice. xoxo

Abby said...

I absolutely agree life is shit.. It seems sometimes people are too afraid to be blunt.. They say nice things to try and comfort you.. Sometimes you just want to hear the truth.. Life is not fair! Thank you for sharing your story.. I have created a tribute site also for my twin sons but haven't completed my story yet.. Some days it is too hard.. Still, please take a look.